This is an excerpt from chapter eight of "How The Mighty Have Fallen."  Follow this link to order your copy.

And the king said, "You shall surely die, Ahimelech, you and all your father's house!" Then the king said to the guards who stood about him, "Turn and kill the priests of the LORD, because their hand also is with David, and because they knew when he fled and did not tell it to me." 1 Samuel  22:13-19

Conflict is a fact of leadership. It is inevitable. And never is a leader’s ability to lead more on trial than when confronted with conflict. It reveals a leader’s steel. Either it will demonstrate his credibility or expose his inability. Most people are impressed by the size of a leader’s organization; but in truth, it is conflict that brings out the best or the worst, and reveals a leader’s capacity to lead.

In essence, Saul was an abysmal failure at managing conflict. In fact, his leadership style and lust for power was the catalyst for conflict. Ironically, that which drove him to bolster his role as king ultimately led to his downfall and the eventual defeat of his regime. Such will be the outcome of any leader who fails to manage conflict and restore unity. Jesus said it like this: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand”  (Matthew 12:25).

“I hate confrontation,” is the phrase we often hear from leaders but, unfortunately, conflict and confrontation cannot be avoided. If you are going to lead, you will encounter conflict. In fact, if you are not encountering conflict, you are probably not leading; more likely, you are just maintaining status quo. The question, therefore, for leaders, is not “how will you handle conflict ‘if’ it comes?” The question is “how will you handle conflict ‘when’ it comes?”
 
MANAGING CONFLICT REQUIRES A HEALTHY LEADER
 
If conflict can be resolved, it requires a healthy, sensitive, selfless leader: one who can set aside his own fears, insecurities and pride, and focus first on the needs and concerns of the people and the organization. This was the issue driving Israel’s dilemma. That conflict was driven by one thing: an arrogant, headstrong, insensitive leader. Saul only cared about his perspective, his concerns, his needs, and his position. And it was this reckless abuse of authority that plummeted the nation into years of turmoil and decline.

Such is the case in many situations today. Often, it is an inept, insecure leader who cares only about “being right” and “looking good” that is fuelling conflict in an organization. Even conflicts not initiated by a leader can be exacerbated by him because of his own ego issues and fears of  “losing face.”

 TOXIC LEADERS CREATE CONFLICT
 
Every organization has within its ranks people who are volatile, contentious, and insubordinate. Every church contains people with attitudes and inclinations that have the potential to erupt into divisive, destructive forces. It is the disposition of the pastor that ultimately decides whether or not those rebellious spirits will rise to find a voice. His ability (or lack of ability) to relate to people, communicate effectively, and lead proactively determines if the culture of the church will promote dissention or encourage unity. 
 
Plainly stated, leaders must set the tone for unity in the church by his or her own example. Sadly, some leaders have the kind of disposition and personality that seems to generate conflict and draw the worst out of people. They are contentious spirits or “toxic leaders.” Proverbs 26:21 says, “As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife.” In 1 Timothy 6:4, Paul warns of those who are…  “Obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling (and) evil suspicions.” And, Proverbs 6:19 talks of he who “…sows discord among brethren.” There are some people who seem to be magnets for conflict. Like an influenza patient spreading sickness wherever he goes, these people spread their disease as well. Wherever they go, there is an outbreak of conflict.

So what does a “Toxic Leader” look like? How can you tell if you are a leader with a contentious spirit? 

First, a “Toxic Leader’s” opinions are offensively absolute. He uses tones and makes statements that seem to suggest his way is the only way and anyone who disagrees is intellectually inferior. And if his idea is not accepted, he withholds his support from any other initiative and may even attempt to undermine it. On the contrary, healthy pastors who promote unity are willing to consider other opinions. They can receive criticism without becoming defensive and even support programs or initiatives that they may not be personally enthusiastic about but will participate in for the sake of supporting the people involved.

Second, a “Toxic Leader” sees only his own perspective. Because his opinions are absolute—or “from God,” there is no reason to try and understand any other person’s perspective. They wrongly think: “These usurpers just need to submit.” When others try to explain another perspective, they interrupt and talk over them; they don’t even listen because they’re only concerned about what they’re going to say next. Healthy leaders however are skillful listeners. Romans 12:10 says “in honor (they) give preference to one another.” They know that to build unity people must feel respected and valued; these leaders convey a sense of appreciation for the unique insights and perspectives that everyone brings to the table.

Third, the “Toxic Leader” uses a tone that is abrasive. His statements are often marked by harsh, inflammatory words and condemning tones. It is not what he says, but how he says it. Statements are made that are provocative—even offensive. If they disagree with someone (which is typical)  their body language shouts rejection. They recoil and shake their head “disapprovingly.” They roll their eyes, and cross their arms. Everything about them says, “No way!” Of course, it is not wrong to disagree, but skillful leaders—uniting leaders—are able to disagree without being disagreeable or communicating rejection. Unifying leaders value inclusion. They convey a sense of welcome and respect to everyone even if their ideas are dissimilar.

Fourth, the “Toxic Leader” would rather be "right" than save a relationship. To this leader, winning an argument is more important than winning a soul (see Proverbs 11:30). Because he values his authority more than people and success as his greatest goal, those who disagree are seen as obstacles to overcome, rather  than valued souls to “win over.” But the wise leader knows how to “win souls.” He knows when compromise is necessary; he understands that losing an argument can sometimes be a strategic step in winning a brother and, thereby, ultimately winning the war.

Fifth, “Toxic Leaders” are quick to criticize, correct and rebuke, but slow to encourage. In fact, rarely does a “Toxic Leader” offer any hint of encouragement. They see people as things to use to accomplish a goal. They are out of touch with what people feel and need. They care only that people do what they are told to do, the way they are told to do it; and if you do it wrong, beware the wrath of the contentious spirit. But good leaders are full of encouragement for those around  them. In fact, when they offer correction, they are able to do so in a way that affirms people and inspires them to “want” to do better. They are not patronizing; they genuinely care about what people feel and need and believe their role as a leader is to help meet those needs.

Leaders who are humble and compassionate, leaders who convey a sense of worth and value to their followers, leaders who build a culture of inclusion where everyone matters and disagreement is met with respect are building a “Conflict Resistant Culture.” Theirs will be an environment where mutual respect, acceptance, and seeking to understand one another will preclude the possibility of hostile disagreement. Just as a block of ice cannot remain long in a tropical environment, the frigid rigidity of conflict will melt under the warm spirit of compassion and genuine love.
 
A FINAL WORD

Conflict is a fact of leadership, but division does not have to be. It is the character and disposition of the leader that ultimately decides how conflict will spread or be resolved. Unfortunately, Saul was of such little character that he not only failed to resolve conflict, he perpetuated it.  Effective leadership is by nature to manage and resolve conflict. Let us seek to  rise above our own egos and need to be right and put the greater good of the  organization first. Become a peacemaker and see how God will  bless.

This is an excerpt from chapter four of "How The Mighty Have Fallen."  Follow this link to order your copy.

He was the most revered and powerful man in Israel. An entire army obeyed his command. No one compared in status, wealth, and respectability. Yet, by his own admission, Saul “feared the people.” As a result of this condition, God deemed the king unfit for leadership and prophesied the removal of his authority. The lesson is clear: in the Kingdom of God it is impossible to lead people when you are afraid of them.

God gave King Saul a clear vision of His will. The Amalekites were to be utterly destroyed as retribution for their mistreatment of Israel years before. Man and beast, woman and child, none were to survive. 

Apparently, en route to battle, someone had an idea: “Let’s save the plunder, sheep and oxen, and offer them as a sacrifice to God in Gilgal. And while we’re at it, let’s spare King Agag; he seems like a nice enough fellow and could be a good friend to us.” The idea had wide appeal and general consensus determined that destroying“everything” was unnecessary. The result was a new vision—one more suited to the preferences of the people.

The essence of leadership is to confront status quo and pull the people to “the place they ought to be.” It often requires the leader to challenge unhealthy cultural norms in the face of disagreement and strong resistance. Although he may be misunderstood, maligned, and even mistreated, it is in those times the leader simply must lead!

This is exactly what Saul could not do and what disqualified him from leadership. He feared the people, consented to their rebellion, and permitted Agag to live. Samuel would soon teach him that to condone wrong behavior, even tacitly, is to bear as much blame as those who commit the evil blatantly.

The nature of leadership is to stand out in front and call others to a higher place, but this spirit causes leaders to lag behind with apathy and malaise. When they should be pointing the way, challenging the prevailing attitudes of mediocrity, this spirit induces leaders to sit idly on the sidelines with hands in pocket blending into the background of status quo.

Leadership is not just having a title. It’s more than sitting on a committee. Leadership is about movement and change and influencing people toward a certain direction. To lead is to be in the “place” God wants for His people and then “pull” people into that place by the power of one’s own passion. It is having such an effect on people that they take ownership of the same attitudes, values, and convictions of the one leading them. Sadly, many believe that because they have a respected title or attend meetings that they function as a leader. They are mistaken. Pastors who fill churches but fail to produce cross-carrying disciples are not leading. Trustees who manage a place of worship but do not show people how to worship in that place are not leading. Deacons who affirm their belief in prayer but do not attend prayer meetings are not leading. Elders who “amen” their agreement with the concept of holiness but do not openly demonstrate repentance and display a passion for personal purity are not leading.

Leaders are“first.” They do not wait for an invitation or rely on encouragement from their peers. They lead. Leaders are the first ones to sacrifice, the first ones to give, the first to pray, worship, repent, and weep over sin. They are the first to serve, the first to shout “amen” and the first to the altar for deeper consecration. Leaders constantly look behind at the ranks that follow and challenge complacency by the force of their own example. They do not wait for someone else to determine the environment. They decide how the environment should be and set out to change it. Culture is every leader’s battlefield, status quo is the enemy and victory is decided by the transformational results of their influence.

True leadership can be likened to a thermostat regulating the temperature of a room. If the spiritual climate of a house grows cold, the leader turns up the heat by the intensity of his own passion and converts the environment to his own character. On the other hand, leaders having gone the way of Saul are more like thermometers. Instead of influencing the environment, they are influenced by it and conform to it. When watching the character of a Saul, one will not see a passionate example of where God is calling His body to; instead, one will see a mere reflection of the tired lukewarmness that has gripped the community and is destroying it.

It’s time to confront the spirit of Saul in the church today. It’s time to slay the Agags and slaughter the sheep and lead the people into full obedience of the Word of God. Will some people reject  this standard? Certainly! Will some people leave and find another king to follow? You can count on it. But the people who stay will be those who are serious. There may only be twelve of them. But with twelve disciples, sold out for Christ, you can turn the world upside down!